10 Ways to Tell If You're a Baseless iPhone Hater

I see a lot of iPhone bashing/hating going on around here. Most of the comments were probably written by guys like this:

What I've been reading from some of these people is flat out ridiculous. Rather than comparing the iPhone to any other phone on the market, they do nothing except rant and rave about every little problem they can find with it, despite the fact that it smashes its competition. Want an example of a typical conversation?

Guy: "Hey man, I got the iPhone!"
Hater: "You know that thing can't stop global warming or predict the outcome of this season of Meercat Manor on Discovery Channel, right?"

Comments like these are just plain ludicrous!

So here's the rundown on how to tell if you're a hater or not:

You complain about not being able to change the battery. Ok, so with a normal phone you can just order a new battery. With the iPhone, you have to take it to Apple and wait a couple of days. So let's think about this. If your phone has no battery, you're probably not going to be using it. You have two choices here: you can look at your dead phone for a few days waiting for the new battery to come in, then you have to change it when it finally arrives; or you can send the iPhone in to Apple, who'll swap out the battery for you, sending it back to you ready to use. Either way you don't have a phone for a few days.
You're mad it that doesn't have an outdated keyboard. Aww, crap! Rather than having to lock my phone so that it hasn't secretly called 8 of my friends by the time I pull it out of my pocket, I have a cool on-screen keyboard to use. How exactly is this a bad thing again?

You say, "I can't use it as a modem for my laptop." *boo hoo* Ok, so for all 12 of you out there for whom that is a real concern, if you needed to do anything even remotely important on the internet from your laptop regularly, why would you use a cell phone? Why wouldn't you have a wireless card like a normal person instead of tryng to play Captain Save-a-Nerd...?

You get upset when you pull out your crappy regular phone and attractive members of the opposite sex don't approach you. Uhhh, yeah. 'Nuff said.

Your phone is made by Motorola. Still a little upset about dropping $400 on the PEBL or the RAZR8539243947 last year? Is that really a good reason to hate? I didn't think so.

You're simply an everyday Apple hater. I'm sorry that I don't have to fiddle through 10,000 folders on Windows to find what I need, giving myself an arthritic clicky finger in the process. I'm also sorry that I don't have to: reboot to install ANYTHING; worry about viruses every time I check my email or surf the 'net; set Outlook 2007 so that it can't receive HTML email (just like you had to do 7 years ago); be less productive because none of the software I install works with anything else I've installed; or set up 18 firewalls + NORTON + MCAFFEE + 25 other anti-Windows-sucks utilities. Me and my Macbook apologize dearly for always working the way a computer should, but don't take it out on iPhone.

You're angry because you can't install applications. Why use phone-based applications when you can use web-based ones? I don't know about you, but my clients love the idea that they'll soon be able to monitor their businesses on any computer + the iPhone without having to install anything. I'm not just talking about simple stuff, either; I'm talking about running an entire business process from a phone, and looking at the same backend API as you would on your laptop. Even BlackBerry can't touch that.

You're mad because there aren't any games. Who needs games when you can watch YouTube?!

"They're too expensive." If you can't buy a Benz, stay away from the dealership. D'oh!

You complain that it can't handle Bluetooth files. For one, the ONLY use for Bluetooth is to have that official looking earpiece. If you already have a laptop and bag with you so that you can sync your files with your phone, what could possibly possess you to not use a cable? Bluetooth transfers files at like 2bits/second. I'm sorry, but I don't have 45mins to waste with that nonsense just because I don't want to carry a tiny cord in my laptop bag.

If you are experiencing more than 2 of these symptoms then stop what you're doing, drink a glass of Hatorade, and stop being a hater!

Comments

Saw this and had to comment,

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Mon, 08/27/2007 - 22:43

Saw this and had to comment, but at least I didn't write another "10 things the I-Phone can't do - rebuttal #2"

But on your comments.

#1, Batteries typically don't go from working to not working overnight. They usually start holding less and less of a charge. When my cell phone battery starts doing that I just go to me cell phone provider's store and pick up a new one. I don't order and wait for one.

#2, You carry your cell phone in your pocket and it dials when you pull it out? Get a flip phone or use the holster, problem eliminated.

#3, I agree, this is a seldom used feature.

#4, Agree, I already have to beat women off with a stick. Don't need anything else to attract them.

#5, Motorola? I don't care who makes the phone, long as it works. Also See #4, don't need to impress.

#6, Sounds like you are a PC hater. Don't hate us just because we use a PC, but there is solace for you the iPhone has actually increased their laptop sales, according to this.

#7, "My clients love the idea that they'll soon be able to monitor their businesses on any computer + the iPhone" --- Mine are doing it now, not waiting for whenever "soon" is.

#8 - Can't watch Youtube on an airplane. Nice to have a game or two when bored.

#9 - Have you priced Mercedes lately? A Toyota is as nice, better astehtics, power and options. But costs thousands less.

#10 - I personally hate Bluetooth earphone users. They look like idiots, talk way to loud and bother everyone. But it's nice to synch my phone to laptop without having to find a cable. Also, most bluetooth setups can be done very fast and they are a setup once and done deal.

Maybe I should have done another blog post, but just having a little fun here.

In reality, whatever works best for you is what is best. That's why there are so many different things available. I just recommend that everyone do their research and make an informed decision. Don't just buy something for looks or because your buddies has or wants one.